


Once you try fanfiction, there is no going back.

by sunshineandeyebrows



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: A bit of swearing, Blowjobs, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, a bit of a mess, actually no, and most perverted, but then he's horny and has feelings, have fun guys, i hope it makes some sense, i should bathe in holy water, i try okay, it's nothing but a mess, just how i'm bad at tagging, kihyun/changkyun in the background because i'm trash, shownu is bad at decisions, they're the worst, this is written specially for my friends, wonho is just horny at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 22:30:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10202180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandeyebrows/pseuds/sunshineandeyebrows
Summary: Hoseok lets out a frustrated noise, trying very hard not to blush. Okay, so he was staring at Hyunwoo's arms, because the older doesn't seem to know what sleeves are, but he wasn't trying to be creepy. He just appreciates Hyunwoo's skin color, okay, it looks nice compared to his own. That's it. It doesn't have anything to do with what he read. About himself. And Hyunwoo. Together.Or: How searching himself online complicated Hoseok's life.





	

_"Come here."_

_Wonho crawls towards him across the bed to straddle his hips obediently, a thrill of anticipation running down his spine. A big hand with prettily tanned, warm skin slides along his jaw._

_"Good boy," the praise makes his insides flip excitedly. "Now open your mouth–_

There is knocking on the door and Hoseok shuts the laptop so fast, he doesn't manage to take away his other hand and hisses violently, sucking the fingers into his mouth to soothe the pain. Only then does he understand that knocking usually means someone is going to enter. He looks up to meet Hyunwoo's as per usual completely neutral gaze.

"What are you doing?" Hyunwoo asks, without changing his tone of voice even a bit.

Hoseok's thoughts travel automatically to the text he was just reading, where that voice wasn't described as so unemotional at all.

"Nothing," Hoseok mumbles around his fingers.

Hyunwoo looks at the laptop lying on his lap and understanding changes his expression ever so slightly.

"Oh, you were... Sorry for interrupting," he says awkwardly and Hoseok feels his ears burn when he gets it.

"No!" he protests immediately. "I wasn't, I wasn't watching anything like that, that's not–"

"Who's watching porn?" Minhyuk cuts in, sticking his head through the door with a mischievous grin.

Hoseok prays inwardly for someone to knock him out before he manages to embarrass himself further.

"No one!" he says quickly.

"That's a completely natural thing, Hoseok-ah," Hyunwoo starts, but he's scratching his nape, eyes down-cast.

Hoseok never wanted to make either of them so flustered, but here they are and he's starting to panic, especially when he remembers what he was doing definitely wasn't a natural thing. Minhyuk having the time of his life laughing in the back doesn't really help.

Hoseok glares at him and sighs long-sufferingly.

"Okay, let's just drop it, please," he says and Hyunwoo nods to himself, still looking everywhere but at Hoseok.

"I just asked you to call him for dinner, what are you still doing here?" an annoyed Kihyun appears in his hamster apron that Changkyun bought him for Christmas to be funny, except Kihyun loved it so much, Changkyun was left to stare at him in awe instead.

"Hoseok was watching porn, mom!" Minhyuk says right away.

"We all do that and I'm not your mom," Kihyun says on autopilot.

He's repeated it so many times over those two years, Hoseok isn't really surprised.

"I wasn't," Hoseok defends himself. "And you're kinda our mom."

"I am not! Am I?" Kihyun turns to Hyunwoo abruptly, who's now staring absentmindedly at the apron.

He snaps his head up and clears his throat.

"Uh, you do exhibit kind of motherly behavior," he tries carefully.

Kihyun scoffs.

"No, I don't. Hoseok, fingers out of your mouth and move finally! Minhyuk, what are you waiting for, I said dinner's ready!" he stalks away with clear frustration and the rest looks at each other with pointed smirks.

Well, Minhyuk and Hoseok have pointed smirks, Hyunwoo just has this expression when he's not entirely smiling, but his eyes are scrunched up in mirth and Hoseok probably shouldn't stare.  
He should get up and eat the dinner, bickering with Hyungwon like usually. He realizes he's doing something entirely else only when he notices Jooheon squinting at him from across the table. Hoseok needs to remind Kihyun to buy him glasses.

"Why do you have your sexy mode on?" Jooheon asks suspiciously.

Hoseok manages not to spit out the food and Changkyun hits his back to help him with the sudden cough. Hyungwon looks at him with so much disdain, Hoseok would shrink in on himself, if he wasn't so used to his disgusted gaze.

"Jooheon, we're trying to eat here!" Kihyun says.

"That's why I'm asking!" Jooheon defends.

Hoseok lets out a frustrated noise, trying very hard not to blush. Okay, so he was staring at Hyunwoo's arms, because the older doesn't seem to know what sleeves are, but he wasn't trying to be creepy. He just appreciates Hyunwoo's skin color, okay, it looks nice compared to his own. That's it. It doesn't have anything to do with what he read. About himself. And Hyunwoo. Together.

He's definitely blushing now, Kihyun could use his face to cook eggs on it, it feels so hot.

"So?" Jooheon pushes, his eyes almost non-existent in the squint.

"I don't have any mode on, shut up," Hoseok tells him.

Minhyuk is snickering into his rice.

"Just eat and go to sleep, we have an early start tomorrow," Kihyun says, apparently done with them already.

"Yes, mom!" Changkyun and Hyungwon answer immediately.

Kihyun just sighs, like he doesn't have any strength to correct them anymore.

Hoseok tries not to choke again, while avoiding looking at Hyunwoo at all costs. He escapes as soon as he can. He can only get as far as the room, though. Which he shares with Hyunwoo. So, not very far.

"Hoseok-ah," Hyunwoo says when they're lying in darkness after shower.

Hoseok contemplates pretending to be asleep, but he's not capable of that after only a few seconds like Hyungwon is, and Hyunwoo knows that. Hoseok hums to let him know he's listening, his heart thumping somewhere in his throat.

"Are you okay?" Hyunwoo asks after a longer while, as if he wasn't sure how to formulate the question.

Hoseok spares a moment to fight with his imagination that is dictating him scenarios involving the darkness and them both in such a small space. Remembering that Hyungwon is dead asleep on the upper bunk and Kihyun can come back from his shower any time now helps him calm down a bit.

"I'm fine," he whispers.

Hyunwoo lets out a low hum that Hoseok wouldn't mind hearing from a shorter distance.

"You can talk to me, if something's up," Hyunwoo's already past the point of awkwardness, concern and sincerity taking up all the space in his voice, and Hoseok feels his chest swell, while a ridiculous grin stretches across his face.

"I know," he says, too softly. "Thanks."

He refuses to think about how screwed he is.

***

_"Now open your mouth," Shownu instructs._

_His voice is still quiet, still only on the verge of getting low and tense. Wonho follows his words, letting three long, tanned fingers slip into his mouth. He doesn't break the eye contact they have even for a second, smirking around the digits that could reach his throat, if he let them. And then he sucks shamelessly. Shownu's breath hitches, just a tiny, almost non-existent stutter in the movements of his chest that's rising and falling slowly, warm and smooth, and inviting._

_Just that small reaction lets Wonho predict it's going to be one of those times he gets tied up with Shownu growling in his ear and going wild every time Wonho manages to sink his teeth in the older one's pretty skin. He's already hard, straining against his jeans, but he doesn't try to relieve himself. Shownu doesn't like it. Normally, that would be an even bigger temptation, because he could tease Shownu, which is always fun, and get pinned to the bed in an instant, too. But this time, he wants to give up the control entirely and see where it gets him._

_Shownu's eyes are so dark when he takes away the fingers, excessive saliva sliding down Wonho's chin in a string. Shownu follows it with his gaze and then he finally moves, licking up Wonho's neck teasingly, making him throw his head back automatically._

_"Why are you so obedient today?" Shownu murmurs against his skin, smile in his voice._

_"You don't like it?" Wonho asks, shivering violently when Shownu runs a finger down his spine, a delicate, barely there touch that could probably spark a fire, if Shownu wanted it to._

_"Why wouldn't I?" Shownu's teeth scrape the tendon on his neck, agonizingly slow and tender._

_Wonho is tempted for a second to push him down and just suck his dick, but–_

"Oh. My. God."

Hoseok jumps, shutting down his phone on pure instinct with a surprised yelp, heart hammering somewhere in his throat. He shuts his eyes, panic rising with every passing second when he feels a heavy gaze on him. He made the worst possible tactical error, but who could have even thought _Hyungwon would wake up_.

Hoseok opens his eyes just a bit and catches Minhyuk's curious glances from the seat in front of them, but ignores him. He very slowly turns to the side. Okay, so Hyungwon definitely isn't lying on his shoulder anymore, and he definitely isn't sleeping. Hoseok would actually laugh at his shocked expression in literally any other situation than the one they're in right now.

"Oh my god," Hyungwon repeats, disgust mixed on his face with pure horror.

Hoseok understands the horror part very well, it's exactly what he's feeling right now.

"Don't say anything, please, I'll stall everyone for a week so that you can sleep in," he babbles desperately.

Hyungwon's brain seems to have stopped working. If Hoseok wasn't so terrified, he would probably say it has never started in the first place.

"What," Hyungwon says, completely flat, like he forgot what a question mark is.

Hoseok looks at him pleadingly.

"Two weeks?" he suggests.

Hyungwon stares at him unblinkingly.

"I have now images. In my head. I can't unsee. Because of you," he manages haltedly.

Hoseok covers his mouth with both hands hastily.

"Please!" he repeats urgently.

Hyungwon continues to stare at him and it's a bad sign, because normally he would shove him away with a repulsed expression, muttering not to touch him.

And like that, Hoseok blocking Hyungwon's mouth and Hyungwon looking a bit at him and a bit at whatever is now in his head, they reach the dorms. That's when Hoseok runs for dear life. The only problem is his stupidity which tells him to hide in the room, not in the bathroom, where he could _lock himself the fuck up_.

Also, Hyungwon has longer legs than him.

"What the fuck was that?!" he seethes, banging the door closed behind himself.

Minhyuk, of course, is there with him.

Hoseok doesn't respond from where he's on the bed, face smashed into the pillow in hopes of maybe suffocating to spare himself more shame.

"What the fuck was what?" Minhyuk asks and there are hands on Hoseok's ass, because he's also stupid enough not to turn off his phone and to put it in his back pocket.

He tries to protect the device from Hyungwon's vice like grip, but loses spectacularly and decides to just succumb to his fate, lying back on the bed in resignation.

There is a moment of silence, during which Minhyuk is reading while Hoseok refuses to look at how his face must change because of the contents.

Then, Minhyuk lets out a low whistle and Hoseok doesn't have to glance up to know that he's grinning.

"It's pretty nicely written," is all he says and Hyungwon sputters.

" _That's_ what you decided to focus on?!"

Hoseok chances a glance. Hyungwon's face is hilarious, even in this kind of situation. Until he looks at Hoseok incredulously.

"Seriously, what the actual fuck?"

"I just found it by accident," Hoseok mutters, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"By accident," Hyungwon repeats flatly.

"Yeah, I was just," he pauses, but decides he can't really make it worse anyway. "I was searching myself online."

He looks up when the silence stretches. His band mates both have rather neutral expressions, either tinged slightly with disdain or with intrigue.

"And?" Minhyuk asks.

Hoseok raises his eyebrows at that lack of reaction, forgetting for a moment about his embarrassment. Hyungwon rolls his eyes. Minhyuk grins.

"What, of course we knew you're searching yourself online, that's kinda obvious."

Hoseok feels like he should be offended, but mostly he just wants to go to sleep and never wake up.

"So that's why you've been so awkward around hyung for the past week," Hyungwon groans.

"Are there more?" Minhyuk asks and Hyungwon makes an indignant noise. "What. It's interesting."

Hoseok just sighs, falling back against the bed.

"Have you read it whole?" Hyungwon asks, sitting next to him.

"No," Hoseok says.

"Send me the link," Minhyuk mutters distractedly, apparently still reading the damn thing, and Hoseok looks up at him, scandalized.

"I can't believe who I live with," Hyungwon says, probably complaining to the universe or something.

There is another silence. Hoseok wonders what he can do to keep their mouths shut. Hyungwon seems to be inside his own head. Minhyuk puts away Hoseok's phone and smirks.

"So, is that a crush, or are you just sexually frustrated?"

Hoseok doesn't know why his life is so difficult.

***

There is no time to feel awkward after that. Hyungwon and Minhyuk don't say anything and Hoseok relaxes just a bit. They're all busy, spending whole days alternating between the studio and the practice room. Kihyun is there only to make sure they've eaten and then disappears to record. Changkyun practically lives in the practice room to make sure he gets the choreography perfectly. Hyunwoo is there with him more often than not. Jooheon has an individual schedule and leaves for China with Jackson Wang. He's gone only four days, but it affects them anyway. Mostly Minhyuk, who's supposed to be the mood setter and that puts a whole lot more pressure on him during times when everyone is stressed. He's used to relieving it with Jooheon, so right now he bothers literally anyone he can find.

They don't really mind much, Changkyun humors him as well as he can, but it's Hoseok Minhyuk goes to at night when Hyungwon is already dead to the world, Hyunwoo still hasn't come back from practice and Kihyun is in Changkyun's room for some reason.

Hoseok is about to fall asleep when he feels a warm weight crash him into the mattress. He hums, not really opening his eyes, and lets Minhyuk bury his face in Hoseok's neck.

"What's wrong?" he mumbles, dipping his fingers in Minhyuk's dark hair.

"Nothing," Minhyuk says into his chest. His voice is hoarse. "Just can't sleep."

"Stress?"

Minhyuk is quiet for a moment.

"Probably."

"And Jooheon and Hyunwoo aren't here, so you want to sleep with me, huh," Hoseok says.

"Well, I won't go to Hyungwon," Minhyuk says, amusement clear in his tone, and Hoseok huffs a soft laugh. "You smell good."

"I know," Hoseok says and gets punched in the arm.

Minhyuk is already asleep and Hoseok isn't far behind when the door opens and Hyunwoo comes in quietly, a towel on his neck and skin glistening in the dim light from the hallway. He looks at them for a second with a small smile and notices Hoseok is still awake. He comes over, running his fingers through Minhyuk's hair and then along Hoseok's cheek.

"Go to sleep, Hoseok-ah," he whispers.

Hoseok tries not to lean into the touch and fails miserably, but then Hyunwoo's warm hand is gone and he feels the sudden loss probably too much. He swallows heavily to calm down his throbbing heart and nods. Hyunwoo smiles at him like there is something else he's not saying and lies down in his bed.

Hoseok thinks it's going to be hard to fall asleep now, but it's really not, and he gets woken up what feels like only seconds later by Kihyun's small hand shaking his arm.

Hoseok groans, but doesn't try to run away from the world into his dreams again. Kihyun looks too tired for that, he would probably snap at him right away.

Kihyun nods and manages a smile.

"How is it going over there, Changkyun-ah?" he asks.

His voice sounds scratchy and Hoseok is glad they completed the recordings already, because Kihyun would have been furious at himself, if he couldn't sing perfectly.

"You know that feeling when you're trying to lift a dead body?" Changkyun asks from Hyungwon's bed.

"No," Hoseok and Kihyun answer simultaneously, not even batting an eyelash at that rather graphic comparison.

"You'll know after you try lifting a sleeping Hyungwon-hyung," Changkyun says like he's a renowned expert in that field.

"We don't want to," Kihyun tells him. His hand is absently drawing patterns on Hoseok's arm. "That's why it's your job."

Changkyun huffs indignantly.

"You should take care of your throat," Hoseok says.

Kihyun glances at him with a raised eyebrow, probably annoyed that Hoseok even dares to suggest Kihyun might not know that.

"Get your ass up, we have practice in forty minutes," he says and stands up, pinching Hyungwon's arm on his way out of the room.

Hyungwon startles and Hoseok tries to chase away remnants of sleep when he hears his muffled whine. Changkyun snickers and exits the room. Hoseok pats Hyungwon's leg and moves after the youngest to get something to eat.

He's fully conscious when they start practice. He's not really in his right mind, as it turns out, though, because he makes the mistake of looking at Hyunwoo when he dances. He hasn't touched that story for three weeks now in fear of getting caught again, but right now, as he watches the muscles in Hyunwoo's back strain and sweat trickle down his neck, everything he read comes back to him and he stumbles. Hyungwon corrects him and it's almost unnoticeable, but of course Hyunwoo knows right away. Hoseok sends him a sheepish grin through the mirror and dances perfectly for the next half an hour, watching only himself, just to be safe.

They fall down in a tired heap onto the floor to take a break and Jooheon isn't there to bring snacks, so Minhyuk goes instead, still energetic even after that much effort.

"Are you tired, Hoseok-ah?" Hyunwoo asks him.

Hoseok blinks at him stupidly, because of course he's dead tired and he thought it's obvious by the way he's lying lifelessly on the floor. But then he remembers his mistake from earlier and feels his ears burn.

"I'm fine," he assures with an embarrassed smile. "Sorry about that."

"It's normal to make mistakes sometimes, don't let it get to you," Hyunwoo says, not really looking at him.

Which, to be honest, doesn't feel nice.

"Yeah," Hoseok says quietly, somehow suddenly completely drained.

"Alright, again," Hyunwoo calls out when they've eaten something.

Kihyun doesn't look good, but he pushes himself up and discards Hoseok's cautious gaze. Hoseok shrugs and goes into the position to start. No one looks good at the moment and he knows it's going to get a bit better when they start promoting, unless of course their manager gets them who knows how many interviews.

They dance another three times, Hoseok looking only at himself in the mirror, but by the fourth something tells him to glance to the side. He catches the exact moment Kihyun's eyes roll back and then he's on the floor, head rescued from banging on it by Hyunwoo's quick hands.

Hoseok forgets all about dancing and Hyunwoo not looking at him and there is static filling his ears, as he runs over to crouch by his friend. He has always thought it's slower. Like a leaf falling to the ground in gentle breeze. Kihyun collapsed suddenly and violently like a ragdoll. And he won't wake up.

Hyunwoo's too shocked to do anything but gently shake Kihyun's shoulders and mumble for him to open his eyes. Someone needs to take care of the panicked rest, though, so Hoseok automatically gives out instructions.

Minhyuk is shaken and definitely not capable of holding a phone, so Hoseok gives the task of calling an ambulance to Hyungwon. Changkyun doesn't seem to understand what even happened, so Hoseok tells him to hold Kihyun's legs up and grabs a buzzing with nervousness Minhyuk by the hand to go and find their manager who should be somewhere in the building.

The time passes too slowly or too quickly, Hoseok isn't sure. He just knows there is chaos and then he's packed Kihyun a bag for the night in hospital, forcibly sitting a pacing Changkyun down on the couch. Manager is the only one with Kihyun now and the five of them are left to wait restlessly. Hyungwon tugs Changkyun with him into his bed to make him calm the fuck down even if just a little, and Minhyuk joins them after Hoseok promises to wake them when he has any news. He knows he won't be sleeping anyway, but probably neither of them will. He trudges slowly to the living room, standing in the middle of it without purpose and staring absentmindedly at Hyunwoo, who's also staring, just not at him but at the floor.

"We should call Jooheon," Hyunwoo says.

His voice sounds distant, like he's thinking one thing and saying something entirely else.

Hoseok rakes a hand through his hair roughly and plops himself down on the couch next to their leader.

"Let's do that tomorrow," he suggests.

Hyunwoo nods slowly and then rubs his face, leaving it closed in his palms. Hoseok wants to reassure him, tell him it's going to be fine, but he feels so tired. All he has the strength for is smoothing his knuckles against Hyunwoo's temple. Hyunwoo jerks slightly and Hoseok pulls his hand back.

"I should have told him to rest," Hyunwoo says after a long while.

Hoseok blinks hard to finally get the image of Kihyun falling out of his mind.

"He wouldn't have listened to you anyway," he says, because it's true.

Hyunwoo sighs and bumps their shoulders together, probably seeking some warmth and comfort.

Hoseok aches. He doesn't know how much time passes as they sit like that in silence, Hyunwoo's arm a solid heat against his side. Phone ringing makes them both jump and Hoseok scrambles for it in haste. As he listens, relief surges through him abruptly.

"He'll be back in the morning," he tells Hyunwoo, who's looking at him with a frown, tense and focused the entire time.

Hyunwoo smiles and his eyes almost completely disappear. Hoseok feels his insides flip.

"Really?!"

They both look to the door. Changkyun is grinning so brightly, Hoseok tries to remember if he ever even saw that expression on his face.

"Yeah," Hoseok says softly.

Changkyun nods to himself.

"I guess I'll make tea then," he says and heads to the kitchen.

Neither Hoseok nor Hyunwoo comment on the fact it's four in the morning, so there is no point in making tea so early. Hoseok falls down onto the couch, all air leaving him.

"At least it didn't happen on the stage," he says.

Hyunwoo nods and as if not really thinking about what he's doing, he grabs Hoseok's hands, entwining their fingers and squeezing. It's probably meant to be comforting, but Hoseok tenses again in half a second. Hyunwoo notices, because of course he does. They're not really touchy feely with each other. Not like Minhyuk is with either of them.

"Sorry," Hyunwoo says and lets go, moving away slightly and leaving Hoseok with a sudden feeling of loss.

Hoseok shakes his head, but isn't able to form words.

"I'm gonna go tell them," Hyunwoo says quietly.

"We know already," Minhyuk says.

Hyungwon sends Hoseok a withering stare from their place by the door. Hoseok feels something bitter in his mouth. Hyunwoo glances at him, but then clears his throat and stands up.

"We should clean up," he says. "Kihyun will be pissed when he comes back to this mess."

No one points out that cleaning up is as unreasonable as making tea at this hour. Hoseok sits down two hours later to rest for a minute and wakes up to Minhyuk's hand tapping his shoulder. He doesn't want to move, because it's warm and comfortable, but there is a smirk on Minhyuk's face, so Hoseok decides to look around. If not for the hand keeping him now in place, he would have jumped up right away.

"It's ten," Minhyuk whispers, not giving a flying fuck about Hoseok's mental breakdown. "We're gonna go to the store, so you can still rest, but don't fall asleep in case Kihyun comes back before us."

Hoseok looks down at Hyunwoo's chest that he was apparently sleeping on. He's completely awake now, mainly because of his heart that decided to block his throat, but he also doesn't want to move in fear of waking Hyunwoo. He nods absently and Minhyuk snorts at him before moving away. Hoseok barely hears the door closing, busy staring at Hyunwoo's face. His skin is so warm.

Hoseok doesn't know how much time passes while he's being a giant creep. He startles when a hand smooths his hair.

"Is he back?" Hyunwoo mumbles.

His eyes are still closed. Hoseok gulps and tries to smile so that he doesn't panic.

"Not yet," his voice is hoarse.

Hyunwoo opens his eyes and stares at him sleepily.

"Are we getting up?" he asks.

"We don't have to yet," Hoseok says weakly.

Hyunwoo's fingers are still running through his hair absently.

"Hey," Hyunwoo starts after a while, as if he was wondering what to say for a moment.

That's when the door opens and Hoseok is up before he can fully comprehend what he's doing. Kihyun stands in the threshold, looking so pale, he's almost transparent. He sniffs and drops his bag to the floor, looking around in Changkyun's Dragon Ball pajamas that were the first thing Hoseok grabbed the previous evening.

"You cleaned," he observes.

Hoseok feels the same wave of relief he experienced when he heard Kihyun will be back after just one night in the hospital. He has the need to touch him, just to make sure he's not going to disappear, really, so he closes him in a hug.

"Be careful, Hoseok," Hyunwoo says.

Kihyun scoffs and Hoseok grins into his shoulder.

"I'm not a doll, hyung, I'm fine already."

The door opens again.

"...because how can you think French fries with grapes are weird!" Changkyun is saying to Minhyuk, who's just shaking his head.

"French fries should be eaten with ketchup only!"

Hyungwon looks like he hasn't woken up yet.

"But grapes-" Changkyun starts and then spots Kihyun and forgets all about his weird eating habits. "Hyung!" he yells with a blinding grin and rushes to hug Kihyun too.

Hyungwon blinks owlishly. Kihyun sighs with exasperation, but lets himself be crushed and Hoseok knows he secretly loves the attention. Minhyuk jumps around with gleeful shouts and concerned questions. Hyungwon pats Kihyun's head a bit patronizingly.

"Great, they gave us free time today, so I'm going back to bed," he mumbles, already on his way to the bedroom.

"Changkyun made you tea," Hyunwoo tells Kihyun with a warm smile.

"Yeah, like five hours ago," Minhyuk points out.

But Kihyun glances at Changkyun with surprise and smiles too.

"You made me tea?" he says.

His voice is dangerously shaky. Changkyun looks bashfully to the floor.

"Yeah, I mean, I wanted to make you eggs too, but-"

"They burnt. Twice," Minhyuk supplies helpfully. Then he seems to get an idea and Hoseok almost asks him what it is this time, but he doesn't have to, because Minhyuk immediately starts singing _Cheer up_ and dancing wildly around the room.

Hyunwoo grabs gently Kihyun's arms and leads him to the bedroom, Hoseok and Changkyun trudging behind absentmindedly, leaving Minhyuk to himself.

"I'll make you eggs," Hoseok says.

Kihyun still has the smile from earlier on his face and Hoseok knows that if Kihyun starts crying, he will too, so eggs it is. He's staring at the stove so intently, he doesn't hear someone come in.

"You can go back to sleep, if you want," Hyunwoo's voice rings smoothly in his ear and Hoseok jumps a mile in the air, head-butting Hyunwoo in the face on his way.

Hyunwoo groans, grabbing his nose.

"Oh shit, sorry!" Hoseok yells, flailing around with his face burning.

"It's fine," Hyunwoo manages through his fingers. "Eggs."

"What?"

"Eggs, Hoseok," Hyunwoo repeats and it clicks.

Hoseok swears, trying to save Kihyun's breakfast. It doesn't look bad, so Hoseok sends Hyunwoo an apologetic gaze and brings them to Kihyun. Kihyun is sitting with his head resting on a puzzled Changkyun's shoulder and he raises an eyebrow at the eggs.

"Sorry," Hoseok mumbles. "There was a small incident."

"We heard," Hyungwon grits through his teeth from the upper bunk and if Hyungwon woke up, Hoseok must have shouted really loudly.

"What happened?" Minhyuk asks, lying currently in Kihyun's lap.

"Nothing," Hoseok says quickly, exiting the room to avoid more questions.

Hyunwoo is sitting at the kitchen table holding an icepack to his nose. Hoseok winces.

"I'm sorry," he whines, pulling away Hyunwoo's hands to see how bad it is. "It doesn't look like it'll bruise," he mutters, touching gently the abused nose.

He doesn't really realize what he's doing, until he notices Hyunwoo's heavy gaze on him. There is a second when everything just freezes and Hoseok can't think about anything but the fact Hyunwoo can probably hear how his heart is beating three times faster. Hyunwoo's warm hand slowly covers his fingers and Hoseok tells himself not to start squealing or do some other very manly thing. And then the front door opens and closes gently, but it's painfully loud in the tense silence. Hoseok doesn't even manage to move before footsteps thump quickly against the floor and an inhuman screech sounds from the hallway.

"Ah, hyung!" Jooheon's voice protests.

"You were supposed to be back tomorrow!" Minhyuk exclaims.

Hyunwoo slips away from Hoseok's fingers and goes to see what's going on, Hoseok moving after him with hands shaking and throat dry.

"Why didn't you call?" he hears Hyunwoo ask with a slightly reprimanding voice.

"Sorry," Jooheon says, not paying much attention to Minhyuk hanging from his neck. "They canceled the schedule so suddenly and put us on the plane right away, I just called manager-hyung to pick me up at the airport."

Hoseok's trying not to look at Hyunwoo right now, but he sees him nod in the corner of his eye.

"Thank God everyone's back," Minhyuk sighs.

Jooheon frowns. He looks ruffled and tired.

"Did something happen?"

"It's nothing serious," Hoseok says.

He's not sure, if he's talking about Kihyun or himself at this point.

*** 

Three days of rest are enough for Kihyun to get some of his color back. Changkyun doesn't want to leave his side, even if he hides it behind poor attempts at jokes and a lot of teasing. Jooheon gets dramatic and decides to hold a grudge against them for not calling him to inform about something as important as one of them getting sick. Kihyun rolls his eyes and tells him he wasn't sick. Hyunwoo adds that a schedule is still a schedule and Jooheon couldn't have come back from China just like that. Jooheon pouts, but can't say anything to that.  
And then they're promoting and there is no time for anything. Kihyun makes sure no one else gets to the point of collapsing. Hoseok tries to avoid having any closer contact with Hyunwoo. Hyungwon sends him judgmental glances whenever he can.

"You said it wasn't a crush," he drawls one night when Kihyun is in Changkyun's room again and Hyunwoo is taking a shower.

"It's not," Hoseok mutters from his bed.

Hyungwon scoffs and Hoseok isn't surprised at all, because he doesn't believe himself either anymore.

"He's not stupid, you know. He noticed something's up. It must suck pretty bad to be avoided like that."

Hoseok grimaces in the dark, feeling bitter.

"I don't know what I should do with this," he admits quietly. "It's all because of that stupid story–"

"No, it's not," Hyungwon interrupts, exasperated. "All the story could have done is make it awkward. And it's more than that."

Hoseok wants to protest, but it feels pointless, so he doesn't answer.

"Admit to it first and then just talk to him, Jesus, it's not that complicated," Hyungwon groans.

Hoseok sits up abruptly.

"How is it not complicated?!" he asks incredulously. "Do you even get what it would mean, if I admitted it? We're idols and we're working together! What if someone found out I have a crush on my band mate!"

"Congratulations, you completed the admitting part," Hyungwon deadpans. "Now all you have to do is talk to him. Hyung," he adds as an afterthought and it almost sounds like an insult.

Hoseok stares at Hyunwoo's bed, trying not to freak out. Because Hyungwon is right and Hyunwoo might come in any second now and he doesn't want to have the most embarrassing conversation of his life tonight.

"Stop having a mental breakdown and go to sleep," Hyungwon says.

Hoseok nods dumbly. He kind of can't believe he really has those kind of feelings for Hyunwoo. He lies back down, but can't fall sleep at all. He hears Hyunwoo go in and lie down quietly. Hyungwon's deep breathing is soothing, but not enough to let Hoseok slip into the dream world. He feels restless, especially when he thinks Hyunwoo is right there, just a few feet to his right and if he reached out, he could slide his fingers down the warm, firm muscles of Hyunwoo's arm. He can't keep still at all, so eventually he just gets up and heads to the kitchen to drink some milk.

He sits there until early hours of the morning, staring at the glass in front of him, but not really seeing it.

"I am going to murder you, Shin Hoseok."

Hoseok startles and looks around, his vision swimming. Kihyun is standing in the door with arms crossed on his chest and fire in his eyes.

"You haven't slept at all, have you," he growls.

Hoseok runs away with his gaze, not even caring that Kihyun completely dropped the honorifics.

"We have practice today," Kihyun sighs and sits next to him. "What happened?"

"Existential crisis," Hoseok croaks and grimaces at the sound of his voice.

Vocal practice is going to be fun.

"Hyunwoo-hyung?" Kihyun asks quietly.

Hoseok snaps up his head, sudden panic attacking his insides. Kihyun has a careful smile on his face.

"You're pretty obvious," he explains with a shrug.

"Is there like, a switch that makes feelings go away and will leave me just full of sexy confidence?" Hoseok asks.

Kihyun scoffs, but he's grinning now.

"You have enough of that already. Feelings are needed sometimes. Like happiness," he pauses. "Or hatred. Hatred is important."

"You don't seem to think that lately," Hoseok points out, snickering.

Kihyun frowns. His cheeks are pink suddenly, but then a dangerous smile appears on his face.

"Oh, you want me to express it more? I'll be happy to humor you then!"

Hoseok shakes his head instantly.

"No, no, no, I'm fine with the current amount! I meant that Changkyun doesn't get it from you lately."

Kihyun huffs and rolls his eyes, standing up to start making breakfast for everyone. His ears are red. That's the moment Hoseok understands that maybe he's not the only one with problematic feelings. It's a bit easier to breathe now.

Changkyun trudges sleepily into the kitchen, rubbing his eye and plopping down onto a chair. For once, he looks like the youngest should. Hoseok smiles at him and understands how tired he is when Changkyun blinks at him and yawns.

"You look like shit, hyung," he informs Hoseok and rests his head on his shoulder.

"Thanks," Hoseok says drily.

The next to join them is Hyunwoo. Hoseok glances up at him, but quickly looks back down when his insides somersault. Hyunwoo has a bad case of bedhead and it looks too adorable to look at directly. Hoseok's heart is beating so fast, it's almost painful.

"I'm gonna shower," he mutters.

Kihyun somehow manages to prevent Changkyun from falling on his face, because he fell asleep on Hoseok's shoulder in the meantime. Hoseok barely registers it, as he brushes past Hyunwoo quickly.

"Hoseok–" he hears Hyunwoo and his voice is sharper, heavier than usually.

Kihyun interrupts before Hoseok can start freaking out that he upset Hyunwoo, though.

"Just let him be for now, hyung."

"Is he okay?" the voice is softer now and Hoseok feels it like a punch to his gut.

"Trouble sleeping," Kihyun says. "Eat for now, I'm gonna go and try to wake up Hyungwon."

Hoseok can't bring himself to move for a moment with his hand already on the doorknob to the bathroom. Kihyun raises an eyebrow, as he passes him on his way to deal with the rest of their team. He pats Hoseok's shoulder too gently.

"Don't be a bitch, hyung, shower and you can deal with the rest after that," he mutters.

Hoseok smiles to himself and finally enters the bathroom. Warm water helps for his tense muscles and he contemplates going to the gym after practice, if he has any strength left by then. He tries very hard not to think about Hyunwoo in any way.

It's three hours of relative peace and exhausting dancing until he has to confront the reality again. He's by the vending machine buying snacks for everyone. First, he hears the scream, only then a wild Minhyuk appears, barreling into him with full force. Hoseok takes his weight, too used to it to lose balance, but sends Minhyuk a judgmental stare.

"Hyungwon told me!" Minhyuk yells excitedly and Hoseok covers his mouth with a hand in a sudden panic.

Their company's building isn't the best place to be shouting about crushes on same sex co-workers.

"You admitted it!" Minhyuk tries to say through his fingers. His eyes are sparkling. "Oh my god, this is awesome!"

Hoseok feels a smile pull at his lips.

"Really?" he mumbles, something warm tugging at his insides.

Minhyuk nods enthusiastically. And Hoseok suddenly realizes something terrifying. Minhyuk moves his suddenly lifeless hand away from his face with a frown.

"Hyung?"

"I can't talk to him," Hoseok says.

There is a hole opening inside his chest.

"Why not?" Minhyuk asks, concerned. "I mean, it's not like he will laugh at you, you know he's not like that."

Hoseok looks up at him, feeling a bit sick.

"What if it's just because of the story?" he says numbly. "What if he says okay and then it just passes? I can't do that to him! And what if he tells me it's not okay and I should stop and then it doesn't pass? I can't talk to him!"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Minhyuk grabs his shoulders. "You're panicking."

Hoseok takes a deep breath. It doesn't help. He kind of wants to cry.

"Look at me, hyung," Minhyuk says gently. Hoseok does. "It's gonna be fine. Everything. Just think about it a little longer and decide then. Besides, it's not like you won't be able to go back to being friends, if it goes to shit, I mean, you'll be hurt, but then you won't, because you can just move on. That's what it's all about, you know. Finding someone that's gonna be just right."

Hoseok nods slowly, the urge to cry shrinking. He notices Minhyuk's grin then and he relaxes enough to roll his eyes.

"Please don't start singing _Just right_."

But Minhyuk is already opening his mouth and Hoseok leaves him behind, taking all the snacks with him.

It's gonna be fine, he repeats in his head for the next two hours, avoiding looking in Hyunwoo's direction. By the time their individual vocal practice ends, Hoseok is so tired, he just thinks about sleep. It gets to the point where he stumbles when they're leaving to go back to the dorms and he doesn't even know who catches him.

"I'm fine," he mumbles automatically, trying to push himself upright, but the hands holding him strengthen their hold.

"No, you're not," Jooheon says.

Hoseok hates it when it's the younger ones that have to help him when he's the hyung who should be taking care of them instead.

"You are taking care of us," Jooheon tells him firmly and Hoseok understands he said it out loud. "So it's fair, if sometimes we take care of you, too."

Hoseok sighs, not really having the strength to argue. He catches Hyunwoo's gaze for the first time since morning suddenly. It's hard and full of silent worry. Hoseok shakes his head to let him know he's okay, but it doesn't change anything, so he rests his head on Jooheon's shoulder and decides to deal with it later. Hopefully a lot later. He can't imagine the stage they're supposed to perform on Inkigayo the next day.

***

Hoseok feels the adrenaline pumping through his veins like always when they get off the stage, music and fans' screams still fresh in his ears. It's still between the exhilarating feeling of performing in front of audience and the moment when he remembers all the little mistakes and starts feeling bad that he couldn't have done it all perfectly. He's smiling widely, letting one of the staff release him from the wires of microphone. Changkyun passes him, muttering his lines under his breath, already monitoring the performance in his head. Hoseok grabs him suddenly and the youngest looks at him startled.

"Stop it, you were good," Hoseok tells him firmly, the grin still plastered to his face. "You absolutely killed it there."

Changkyun smiles.

"You weren't so bad yourself, hyung," he says. "You could work on your footing a bit, though."

Hoseok pushes him, not too hard.

"Shut up."

Changkyun laughs and skips away to pester Hyungwon.

"That's not true," Hoseok hears almost in his ear and he jumps, turning around violently.

Hyunwoo is smiling at him with sweat still glistening on his skin and Hoseok gulps.

"You need to stop doing that," he says, because he figures he should say something instead of just staring.

"Sorry," Hyunwoo laughs a bit and raises his hand to brush Hoseok's bangs to the side.

Hoseok doesn't know what Hyunwoo says next, all the incredible background noise of people shuffling around and music reduced to insignificant buzzing.

"What?" he asks weakly, after finally releasing the breath he didn't really notice he was holding.

"Changkyun isn't right, your footing was fine," Hyunwoo repeats, leaning in, because he probably thought Hoseok couldn't hear him because of all the sounds surrounding them. "I know you did amazing."

Hoseok doesn't know if he should scream or pass out or something. Hyunwoo is so close, Hoseok can smell his skin, the scent of sweat mixed with cool and rich fragrant of his shower gel and it shouldn't be so good, but somehow it is.

"Thanks," he manages. "But that's my line."

So what, if he couldn't not stare at Hyunwoo through the entire stage, it's not really his fault that the man is incredible when he dances and that outfit just makes it so hard to stop looking. Hoseok thinks Hyunwoo should be banned from wearing sleeves. On the other hand, if that really happened, he might have died. But it'd be worth it, a tiny, evil voice that sounds suspiciously like Minhyuk whispers in the back of his mind.

Hyunwoo's smile gets soft and shy at the compliment and Hoseok is sure his heart will just decide to explode one of these days.

"Come on, I'm taking you all out for meat," Hyunwoo says, slinging his arm around Hoseok's shoulders.

Hoseok feels his knees weaken at the contact and all those muscles so close to him, but Hyunwoo easily holds him up.

He's not sure what is happening throughout the dinner, but it's fun. He remembers sitting next to Hyunwoo, Hyungwon's pointed smirks and Minhyuk's attempts at pushing him closer towards Hyunwoo. He also recalls Changkyun feeding everyone and Kihyun nagging at Jooheon not to be picky. It all passes so quickly, though, and then he's in the shower and Hyunwoo's skin appears in front of his eyes. Hoseok shakes his head and turns the water to cold, because he's not doing this, no way.

His dick has other plans apparently, because it jumps at the mere thought.

"Shit," Hoseok mutters.

Hyunwoo's hands slide down his torso in his imagination, arms circling around his waist, dark and big and so hard.

Okay, so he's hard now too and there are three people waiting to shower just outside the door.

" _Why are you so obedient?_ " Hyunwoo's voice rings in his head.

"What the hell is wrong with me," Hoseok sighs, reaching down to grab himself, barely remembering to bite his lips not to let out any strange sounds.

Loud knocking almost makes him slip on the tiles and for a moment he contemplates doing just that, because cracking your skull open on the bathroom floor is surely better than the knowledge that he was about to jerk off to the image of his friend based on a story found online written probably by some sexually frustrated fan.

"I know you have your needs, hyung, but we wanna shower and go to sleep as quickly as we can," Changkyun's voice filters through the door and that's it.

The cold water does its job wonderfully now and Hoseok lets out a long breath in resignation. It's been a while and without the time to go to the gym and all the weird thoughts his frustration has been building up.

He turns off the water and dries himself, hearing loud whining, probably Jooheon, and gagging noises, definitely Hyungwon. He sends them a pointed smirk when he gets out just to tease them further. Only then does he remember he has to actually see Hyunwoo's face now.

"Karma," Hyungwon says when he notices his expression.

Hoseok pinches his arm and escapes the possible revenge by running to the younger ones' room.

"Sure, we can cuddle, but that won't save you from reality," Minhyuk tells him when Hoseok hides under his covers. "Well," he adds, putting away his phone and adjusting himself so that they're spooning. "At least you definitely know it wasn't just the story."

Hoseok isn't really sure he wanted to find out, after all.

***

It's another week of being busy and extremely awkward before Hyunwoo corners him in their room. It's not exactly a day off, but the schedule is less packed, so they have the evening to themselves. Minhyuk and Jooheon are camped out in front of their TV with a console and a set of games. Changkyun is sitting on the couch, bothering a dozing off Hyungwon, and Kihyun is baking cupcakes. Hoseok wanted to maybe catch up on sleep, because it's been hard to rest lately, but instead he finds himself inches from Hyunwoo, whose face is full of concern and impatience. It's a rare sight. Hoseok's heart is beating at double speed again, as he stares at Hyunwoo, completely unable to look away.

"Talk to me, Hoseok," Hyunwoo says urgently.

His eyes are chaotic, inspecting Hoseok's face quickly. Hoseok suddenly has the urge to do two things, one of them being to just spill everything, regardless of any consequences, not giving a fuck about what it means not only when it comes to him, but all of them as a group of idols. The second, well, he wants to cry a little, because he realizes they haven't talked, like really talked, in so long, he doesn't even remember the last time, and it sucks.

"I'm sorry," is what gets out of his throat finally, hoarse and pathetic.

His eyes start to sting. Hyunwoo looks alarmed now, as he gets even closer, and before Hoseok manages to be amazed at how all the awkwardness just disappears when Hyunwoo is worried over either of them, strong arms close him in a crushing hug.

"What's wrong?" Hyunwoo asks softly.

Hoseok tries not to bury himself in the warm embrace and fails miserably. Big hands soothe down his back and Hoseok's heart clenches.

"Is it because of work?" Hyunwoo questions carefully.

Hoseok shakes his head against Hyunwoo's neck and doesn't know what he should say.

"Something personal?" Hyunwoo tries and Hoseok stills with heart in his throat. "I won't make you tell me," Hyunwoo says. "Just know that you can."

Hoseok had forgotten how good it feels to have someone he doesn't feel guilty about take care of him. He wouldn't have allowed himself to look so weak, if it was any of the younger ones. It's enough that he showed them how tired he's been lately. He contemplates telling Hyunwoo that he's fine, but that obviously won't work, so he stays silent, focusing on not breaking down in tears.

"I don't know what to do," Hyunwoo says quietly into his hair and Hoseok almost laughs, because of course Hyunwoo doesn't know.

"I'll be okay," Hoseok assures him.

Hyunwoo is swaying them gently, his hold still solid and warm. Hoseok realizes they're going to move away at some point in time and it sucks. He wishes he could just stay like this until everything goes away.

"Are you sure?" Hyunwoo asks carefully. Hoseok nuzzles into his neck, because no, he's not sure at all. "Hoseokie?"

Hoseok's body jerks at the endearment. His heart is about to jump out of his chest again. Hyunwoo never calls him like that. He notices how much he has buried himself into Hyunwoo's body and loosens his hold.

"Sorry," he says, looking up at Hyunwoo with a sheepish smile.

He can't make himself this pathetic. It's fine. He just has to figure out what he even feels and if he should tell Hyunwoo anything or not. Hyunwoo frowns just a bit, which is already plenty as for him. He lets Hoseok slip away, though. They look at each other in a weird silence. Hoseok sweeps his gaze over Hyunwoo's tense frame, his usually expressionless features drawn, lips pressed into a tight line, dark eyes full of careful concern. Hoseok tries not to lose his smile, thinking about how they haven't talked in so long and he still can't bring himself to force the words out now.

"Hyung!" Jooheon shouts, as he bangs the door open. "Minhyuk-hyung is totally cheating and Kihyun-hyung doesn't... care," he ends slowly, taking in the situation.

Hoseok is the first to break their strange staring contest and he turns to Jooheon with something that is a smile on a good day.

"It's late," he says, pushing the younger out of the room gently. "We have an early morning. Enough playing, we're going to sleep."

Jooheon wants to protest, but Hoseok closes the bathroom door after him, cutting him off.

"Be quick!" he calls through the door and hears Jooheon huff indignantly.

Something warm seeps into his chest and he realizes how cold it's been since Hyunwoo's arms stopped embracing him tightly. He turns in time to see Hyunwoo looking at him from the doorway. He's unreadable again. Hoseok wants to say something, but his head is empty. Hyunwoo moves and brushes Hoseok's hair briefly on his way to the living room. Hoseok feels the touch long after they throw all the kids to bed and he's lying in his own, heart aching.

*** 

Hoseok is wearing a collar. And a leash. He hasn't done something so provocative in a while. Even Hyungwon glances at him every few minutes. Hoseok knows he looks good and that makes him feel good. Hyunwoo is still getting his makeup done, so Hoseok doesn't need to be reminded of how hopeless he felt the previous day almost crying in Hyunwoo's arms. He can face all that after the stage.

He looks at the rest of his team lounging around in different stages of undress. Hyungwon already has his microphone being installed, Jooheon circling him and a staff member nervously, muttering his lines and obviously annoying Hyungwon to no end, which he doesn't even notice. Finally, Minhyuk snatches him to the other corner of the room, talking excitedly about one of their seniors' stages. Changkyun is pacing, in a trance, Kihyun watching him with growing frustration. Hoseok almost goes to them, but at that moment Kihyun grabs Changkyun's face, squeezing his cheeks together comically.

"Calm the fuck down," he growls and Hoseok grins. "You've done it a million times before, you'll be fine! I'm getting stressed, too, when you do that."

Changkyun stares at him and for one incredulous second, Hoseok expects them to kiss. He shakes his head, turning away with heated ears and trying to get rid of the image. His eyes land on Hyunwoo standing in the door and Hoseok's face must be completely red now.

Hyunwoo looks good in black, his skin glimmering in the lights, probably covered with some shiny cream. His eyes are barely lined, the way Hoseok likes the most. There is a choker on his neck, silky but simple, with tiny silver spikes. Hoseok's throat is suddenly dry. Hyunwoo raises an eyebrow, inquiring, but Hoseok shakes his head just slightly, not able to look away.

Hyunwoo's eyes travel down to his neck now and there is something different in his eyes as they meet Hoseok's again, something darker. Hoseok's stomach flips. Hyunwoo clears his throat and breaks the contact. Hoseok blinks, catching himself being a bit closer to the older than he was before. His lower back is tingling.

"Such idiots," Hyungwon mutters, passing them on his way out.

Hoseok snaps out of it, quickly following the younger with blood thrumming in his ears. He tries to regain what is left of his composure and smirks at one of the new girl groups when they steal obvious glances at him.

"Oppa, so sexy," he hears in his ear in deep voice and whips up his head.

Bambam is sending him a shit eating grin and Hoseok relaxes, answering with one of his own.

"Great performance," Hoseok tells him and Bambam right out beams, pulling him into a quick hug.

"Thanks, hyung!" he says and waves, as he hurries after his band mates.

Hoseok gets slapped on the ass and instead of glaring, he laughs, getting back at Jinyoung by hitting his arm. Jinyoung waves at Hyunwoo with sparkling eyes and Hyunwoo returns the gesture, but his smile is drawn, tight. Jinyoung frowns, but doesn't have the time to do anything else, Youngjae pulling him after the rest, shouting for Jackson who's laughing at something with Jooheon to hurry too. Hoseok doesn't watch them go, observing Hyunwoo instead. Hyunwoo glances up at him, but quickly turns away. Something is definitely wrong.

"You're up next," a staff tells them, rushing past.

Hoseok somehow stops staring at Hyunwoo, even though it's pretty hard, and follows Minhyuk to the stage. He lets the familiar thrill take him over and he dances and sings and fills himself up with music.

"We were like, so hot," Changkyun says intelligently when they're backstage again.

He has a dazed expression on his face, like he can't really believe that what he's saying is true. Hoseok laughs at him gleefully. Minhyuk is running around, screeching what Hoseok recognizes as Cheer up and Hyungwon does his mantis dance to that, successfully preventing a staff member from taking off his microphone. Jooheon quickly starts following Minhyuk around, doing aegyo, and Kihyun is doubling over from laughing. Hoseok searches automatically for Hyunwoo and finds him standing calmly next to him, eyes crinkled in a smile, as he watches them all. He seems sparkly, uncovered arms and face shining with sweat, but his breathing is slow already, the adrenaline that is still holding the rest gone. Hoseok wonders briefly what it would be like to kiss him now, tighten his fingers in short black hair, damp but soft, and just press himself against the broad chest, biting at plump lips. He looks away, skin suddenly hot and too small for his body.

"Too obvious," Kihyun mutters with a smirk into Hoseok's ear and he jumps.

Kihyun moves away before Hoseok can even glare at him, though, and calls out to everyone to get going. Hoseok throws his hoodie on and moves with a sigh. Suddenly, the hairs on his nape stand up and his skin prickles and he turns around swiftly. Hyunwoo's eyes are on him now and the previous warmth is no longer there, changed into the same thing as before the stage, dark and intense. It lasts for all of two seconds and Hyunwoo averts his gaze, but it's enough to evoke a whole body shiver from Hoseok and he shakes his head to get a grip. Changkyun is looking at them both suspiciously. Hoseok slings an arm around his shoulders and pulls them to the exit, trying not to think what could happen, if Hyunwoo looked at him like that a bit longer and maybe in a more isolated place. To be honest, he's more confused now than he's been all this time since reading the story.

***

They have a day off tomorrow and Minhyuk buys alcohol.

"No," Jooheon protests when Minhyuk suggests playing cards. "I don't wanna play with you, hyung, you're just going to cheat again!"

Minhyuk gasps theatrically.

"Me?! Cheating? No way!"

Kihyun giggles because he's on a good way to be drunk already and Changkyun glances at him incredulously. But then Kihyun's eyes light up with a challenge.

"Bring it the fuck on," he says with a dark grin and Changkyun nods to himself, as if everything came back to the norm.

Hyungwon looks at them all patronizingly and it's kind of funny, but also kind of frustrating, how he gets so much more pretentious when he drinks. Hoseok realizes he's been leaning on Hyunwoo for a while now, but it's so comfortable he can't bring himself to move, his mind a bit hazy already.

Changkyun loses the first round. He has to do a lap dance.

"Kihyun," Minhyuk says, the grin on his face positively evil. "Give Kihyun a lap dance."

Kihyun glares at him, his cheeks pink.

"I'm gonna poison your food when you expect it the least," he barks.

Changkyun looks half eager, half like he wants to be in any other place but here right now. Hoseok watches him stand in front of Kihyun with red face. But then a grin stretches his lips and he starts dancing and Hoseok doubles over in laughter. He thinks back to when Changkyun was so awkward with them, drawn back and uncertain, and it feels so good to know the younger can turn such a cruel punishment into a comical display, wiggling his butt like a madman to the accompaniment of Seventeen Minhyuk plays on his phone. Kihyun looks like he isn't sure, if he should be amused, pissed or turned on, and Minhyuk is laughing with Jooheon at his face.

Finally, the song ends and Changkyun plops down onto the floor, supporting his back on Kihyun's legs and hiding his face in his arms in shame. No one mentions the hand Kihyun slips into his hair, soothing and reassuring.

They play again and Jooheon loses this time. Hoseok doesn't say anything about the cards Minhyuk and Hyunwoo have hidden under their butts. As long as Hyunwoo helps him discreetly, of course. There is no trace of the previous tension between them now, and more importantly no awkwardness. It feels good to be laughing at Jooheon that's getting frustrated while trying to make Heechul tell him he's handsome without asking directly over the phone. Hoseok wonders if it's thanks to the alcohol that he can lean on Hyunwoo's shoulder so comfortably, and if he's going to come back to being weird around the older the next day. He'd rather make all those feelings disappear, if it ends being like that.

To Minhyuk's and Hyungwon's great disappointment, it doesn't take long for Jooheon to complete his mission and they all say bye to Heechul cheerfully. The alcohol is slowly ending and Kihyun's head is slowly rolling onto Changkyun's shoulder.

"Again?" Hyunwoo asks.

They play and Hyungwon's face is hilarious, as he starts to lose. Hoseok laughs so hard, he stumbles and pushes Hyunwoo by accident on his way and Jooheon's eyes widen comically.

"Hyung! You've been cheating this whole time?!"

Hoseok looks at the spare cards that are now visible to the rest.

"You've been working together, haven't you?!" Minhyuk accuses, pointing at Hyunwoo and Hoseok.

Hyunwoo smiles.

"Sorry, sorry," he says, not sounding apologetic at all.

"You've been cheating, too!" Hoseok protests, still laughing.

"Prove it!" Minhyuk yells, startling Kihyun awake.

Changkyun is already rolling on the floor, unable to say a single word.

"I knew it!" Jooheon shouts triumphantly. "Get your ass up, hyung!"

Minhyuk springs up, smiling with a manic glint in his eyes. There is nothing under his butt, but Jooheon doesn't give up so easily, tackling him to the floor to search him and Minhyuk shrieks.

"You two!" Hyungwon says imperiously to Hoseok and Hyunwoo. "You get a punishment, that wasn't fair!"

"What the hell is going on!?" Kihyun shouts above all that.

"Hyungs were cheating!" Changkyun manages to wheeze out, too far gone to care he had to do a lap dance because of that.

"That's not fucking possible!" Jooheon huffs incredulously when he finds nothing, as Minhyuk lets out an evil laugh.

"Language," Kihyun snaps automatically. "Who was cheating?"

"You swear the most out of us!" Jooheon protests indignantly.

"Those two!" Minhyuk points again at the same time.

Kihyun looks at Hoseok and Hyunwoo and his eyes narrow. Hoseok feels a sudden sense of immense danger.

"Minhyuk was, too!" he says immediately.

"I thought so too, but he has nothing on him," Jooheon grumbles.

"Why can't we do something normally for once?!" Hyungwon groans.

"The closet," Kihyun says, ignoring him.

Hoseok freezes in dread. He's scared to even glance at Hyunwoo. Changkyun and Jooheon are already advancing on them to haul them to their feet. Hyunwoo goes easily, laughing. Hoseok tries to bat at Changkyun's hands tickling his sides, giggling involuntarily. But then it's dark and tight and Hyunwoo's elbow is digging into his ribs.

"Can't breathe," Hoseok manages.

"Oh, sorry," Hyunwoo says casually, like it's every day that he gets thrown into their closet with Hoseok.

They readjust and Hoseok ends up pressed against Hyunwoo's chest, body fitted between his legs snuggly and pulse quick in his ears.

"I didn't know we had so much space in the closet," Hyunwoo notices conversationally and Hoseok wonders where his life is headed. "How long do you think they'll keep us here?" Hyunwoo asks, his fingers drawing patterns on Hoseok's chest unknowingly.

Hoseok tries not to shiver, tries really hard to focus on the question, so that he can answer it somehow, but his body still tenses. Hyunwoo notices, as always. Whether it's tiredness, not enough time spent on practicing the choreography, or stress manifesting itself in stiff line of either of their bodies, Hyunwoo doesn't have any problem with reading body language. He just has a problem with noticing when Hoseok is struggling not to show with his whole self how bad he wants to get into Hyunwoo's pants. Of course.

Hyunwoo clears his throat and takes away his hands.

"Sorry," Hoseok hears quietly in his ear and the warm breath makes his skin break into goosebumps.

He bites his lips not to let out the sigh that desperately wants to get out, praying internally not to get hard now.

"It's fine," he says, as evenly as he can, which means not evenly at all.

"Are you okay already?" Hyunwoo asks and then seems to reconsider. "Ah, it's only been a day, I shouldn't ask so soon."

Hoseok licks his lips, willing Hyunwoo with his mind to start petting his chest again. And then maybe go lower. Hyunwoo doesn't listen, hands still resting carefully on either side of him.

"I just," Hoseok starts and he has to clear his throat, focusing on not thinking about Hyunwoo's hands. "I just need a bit of time to figure it out."

"Okay," Hyunwoo nods slightly and his lips brush against Hoseok's ear in the process, which makes him suck in a breath.

Hyunwoo turns his head with another casual sorry and Hoseok tries thinking of sad and disgusting things. His hands are sweating, squeezed into fists and he relaxes them slowly. He can feel the beating of Hyunwoo's heart, strong and rhythmical against his back. It calms him a little, but not much. Hyunwoo's body heat is seriously something abnormal. Hoseok just wants to be out of this confined space and possibly jerk off in the shower. He kind of made peace with using the image of Hyunwoo's hands for that.

"You did great on stage today," Hyunwoo says, probably just to start a conversation.

Hoseok realizes he's been in his head for too long. It was always him talking like crazy and Hyunwoo answering with grunts or occasional accurate observations. He's become so quiet around Hyunwoo recently. It can't feel good.

"Thanks," he mumbles. It's nice to hear that from Hyunwoo. "But I miss stepped once and I didn't correct Minhyuk when he tripped right in front of me and–"

"You did great," Hyunwoo interrupts him, smile in his voice. "Everyone makes mistakes, it's already good, if you know you made them in the first place."

Hoseok rolls his eyes in the dark.

"You always say that and then practice twice as hard when you as much as move your hand wrong."

Hyunwoo is quiet for a moment, thinking. Hoseok thinks he maybe never even noticed that.

"It bugs me when I do something wrong, so I have to correct it," he says finally.

"Same for me," Hoseok informs him.

"You'll remember next time," Hyunwoo assures him gently.

"What if I don't?" Hoseok huffs with irritation.

"You can practice more. I can help, if you want."

Hoseok feels suddenly warm all over. He wants to say thanks, but in that moment the door opens, blinding momentarily both of them. Then Hoseok recognizes Minhyuk.

"You two are so boring," he says.

"Do you even know what this punishment is about?" Hyungwon drawls from behind him.

He still looks relatively sober, but Hoseok knows he isn't by the way his neck is flashed. He spots Changkyun in a weird position on the floor, passed out. Kihyun is staring at him like he's contemplating joining him there, but the knowledge of how hard the floor is still keeps him up. Jooheon is nowhere to be seen and Hoseok almost asks, but hears the unpleasant noises coming from their bathroom and everything becomes clear.

"We should go to bed," Hyunwoo says. "Minhyuk, help me with Changkyun. Hoseok, can you get Kihyun?"

"Sure," Hoseok says.

He's not as drunk as he was before, but his head is still spinning a little.

"I can walk," Kihyun mumbles, leaning on him heavily.

"Okay," Hoseok agrees, taking all his weight easily.

It's not much anyway. He can't even picture trying to get Kihyun to his upper bunk, so he deposits him on his own, lying down next to him.

"'S gonna be uncomfortable," Kihyun slurs, curling against Hoseok's side.

"Shut up and go to sleep," Hoseok says.

He kisses Kihyun's forehead for a reason unknown to him and tries to calm down the world that is moving like a merry-go-round.

Kihyun says, "Ew," and kisses his chest in exchange.

Hyungwon is already snoring softly in his bed. Hoseok watches as Hyunwoo sits down on his own with a gentle huff. He closes his eyes. The world starts turning more violently, so he opens them again.

"I'm glad we talked," Hyunwoo says quietly.

"Yeah," Hoseok whispers, Kihyun's breath slow against his neck. "Me too."

***

Hoseok wakes up early. Kihyun is squeezed into the wall, still deep asleep. Hyunwoo isn't there. Hyungwon's snoring is still clear in the sleepy silence. Hoseok is hard. Logically, there is only one option – get to the bathroom. There is also only one problem: what if he bumps into Hyunwoo on his way?

Hoseok decides he has to do something before Kihyun wakes up and makes a fuss. So he kind of goes for it. Of course he bumps into Hyunwoo. Quite literally, too. The older looks at him, dumbfounded. Both of their chests are too hard for the force of the collision to actually affect them. There is a moment when everything freezes and Hoseok is torn between repeating fucks and no's in his head and barely holding himself back from rutting against Hyunwoo's thigh. Not his finest moment, but while he was hard before, it's almost unbearable now.  
Hyunwoo's gaze slides slowly down his body and Hoseok fights with himself not to cover his crotch with his hands.

"Oh," Hyunwoo says and dares to lick his lips.

Hoseok wants to punch him in the face. With his own face. Dammit.

"Um," Hoseok says, because Hyunwoo is blocking the door and also because um is better than a moan that's currently sitting in his throat.

Hyunwoo is still staring at him though, and he won't move and Hoseok doesn't know what he's thinking at all.

"Could you...?" he asks finally, his face burning.

Hyunwoo's cheeks get a little pink too, as he averts his gaze finally, and Hoseok doesn't think he's ever seen him blush like this.

When he wraps a hand around himself finally, hot water hitting his back, all that's in front of his eyes is Hyunwoo's stare, obviously. Hoseok bites his lip hard not to let any weird, loud sounds out. And then his mind decides to pass him an image of Hyunwoo opening the door with force, even though Hoseok knows they're closed, and striding up to the shower, pushing Hoseok against the cool tiles, eyes burning with the same thing Hoseok remembers from the previous day. Hoseok gasps, flicking his wrist, hips stuttering, Hyunwoo's hands hot and rough on his body in his mind's eye. He cums with a low, bitten off whine, the reality of jerking off to his friend smashing into him only after those few seconds of bliss.

"Shit," Hoseok says, shocked. "Definitely not just the story."

Quick-witted as always, Hyungwon's voice drawls in his head. Hoseok huffs and can't bring himself not to look at Hyunwoo when they're eating breakfast, just the two of them, while the rest is sleeping off the drinking. He turns away only when Hyunwoo catches him staring, ears hot.

"What the hell?" Minhyuk asks suddenly from the door and Hoseok jumps, the tension too much for his poor nerves. "Should I leave you two alone?"

Hoseok chokes on his own saliva. Hyunwoo shifts abruptly.

"Don't be ridiculous," he says.

His voice is hoarse. Hoseok's thoughts are so jumbled he doesn't really know what he's feeling anymore. He watches absently as Minhyuk harasses Hyunwoo brightly and realizes he hasn't seen Hyunwoo smile at him like that in a long time. It hurts a bit more than it probably should. And then Minhyuk is pulling him out of the chair and into the living room.

"What happened?" he asks excitedly.

Of course he would be excited over Hoseok's suffering. Hoseok flashes violently and a quiet oh my god slips from Minhyuk's lips.

"Did you tell him?" he stage whispers.

Hoseok shakes his head and gets a frown in response. He takes a deep breath and looks Minhyuk in the eye.

"I'm really screwed," he admits.

Minhyuk waves at him impatiently.

"Of course you are! But why didn't you tell him?"

Hoseok sometimes has a distant need to abandon his current life and escape to Africa to live off of teaching kids there English, but then he remembers he doesn't know English and his sense of responsibility is too strong.

"I can't," he says quietly. "I won't be able to take it when he tells me I'm insane or disgusting or something."

Minhyuk sighs.

"First of all, it's not when but if. Second of all," he hits Hoseok's arm, hard. "It's Hyunwoo-hyung, he would never say something like that! How can you be seriously in love with him, if you give him so little credit?"

Hoseok stares at him, his heart beating so hard, he's almost worried it will punch through his ribcage. He has never let himself think that. A crush is still okay. A crush passes with time and that's what should happen. But what Hoseok is feeling doesn't cover a simple crush anymore.

"I'm in love with him?" he says.

Minhyuk snorts in amusement.

"I don't think you should be asking me that."

Hoseok sits next to Hyunwoo when they watch a movie in the afternoon and can't not lean into him. Hyunwoo's arm settles around his shoulders, comfortable, whatever happened in the morning seemingly completely forgotten, and Hoseok thinks he would like that easy familiarity on a daily basis. He's tired of being awkward and careful. He's not even wondering about what he did just a few hours before thinking about Hyunwoo and his hands. In love is bouncing around his skull and he doesn't even know what the movie is about.

"So," Changkyun says from his place in the chair, Kihyun's head resting on his lap like it's no big deal. "Are you guys together or what?"

Hoseok stiffens, blinking at him ridiculously.

"What?" he blurts and somehow he's already standing, even though he doesn't remember getting up.

He almost doesn't catch Kihyun slapping Changkyun's leg in warning. Minhyuk looks like he's in the right place, popcorn in his hands and a smirk on his face, the movie forgotten.  
"Oh my god," Hyungwon mutters, resigned.

"What?!" Jooheon screeches, turning around to look at them wildly.

Hoseok doesn't want to check the expression on Hyunwoo's face. He feels too hot and rushed.

"No, we're not, why would you even think that?" his voice sounds so fake. He doesn’t even wait for Changkyun to answer, just leaves the room with a quick, “I’ll be right back.”

He paces around the small space in their bedroom, trying to breathe and not have a mental breakdown because everything is over now. The way he acted was too obvious. He doesn’t even care what the others think, but now Hyunwoo is going to know what’s going on, if he reacted like that to a stupid question.

“Hoseok,” he hears from the door and freezes in place. “Look at me.”

Hoseok gulps, his throat suddenly too thin. He expected Minhyuk, maybe Kihyun. He turns around slowly. Hyunwoo is by the door, expression carefully neutral.

“Why is it you?” Hoseok says, before his brain has a chance to work properly.

Hyunwoo’s face twists and it’s no more than half a second, but Hoseok manages to feel like shit anyway.

“I’ll get Minhyuk then,” Hyunwoo says quietly and turns around.

Hoseok is somehow by his side in the next moment and he grabs his arm hastily.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he says urgently. Hyunwoo doesn’t turn back to him, but he doesn’t seem to want to leave anymore, either. “That’s not what I meant,” Hoseok repeats quietly. He licks his lips nervously. “It’s just, you don’t have to be here. If you don’t want to.”

Hyunwoo looks at him finally.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he says and Hoseok feels sudden warmth spreading in his chest. “Tell me,” Hyunwoo prompts gently.

Hoseok notices he still hasn’t let go of his arm, and takes a step back, averting his gaze. His heart is beating too strongly again, bumping against his ribs.

“Hoseok-ah,” Hyunwoo says.

Hoseok huffs an unamused laugh and runs fingers through his hair.

“That’s not fair,” he mutters.

Hyunwoo doesn’t want him to talk because he doesn’t get it, he wants him to admit what they both already know.

“You said I don’t have to tell you,” Hoseok chances a glance, feeling the irritation sipping slowly into his gut.

It’s not as easy as Hyunwoo thinks it is to just say everything.

“It was different then,” Hyunwoo says.

“Because you didn’t know yet,” Hoseok huffs again.

Hyunwoo nods, like it’s all so simple. Hoseok hates his sincerity sometimes.

“What if I don’t want to say it?”

Hyunwoo takes the step separating them and Hoseok’s breath stutters.

“Please,” Hyunwoo says.

He’s no longer neutral. His face is so open, eyes searching. Hoseok doesn’t have the strength to move away anymore, the irritation long gone.

“Tell me,” Hyunwoo says again, hushed, and Hoseok just kind of falls forward, as if pulled in by some magical force.

It’s not even a kiss, their lips just touch for a fraction of time and then Hoseok is jumping back. Hyunwoo is staring at him blankly.

“Oh shit,” Hoseok whispers, walking quickly back until he hits a wall and there is nowhere to go. “Oh shit, I didn’t– that wasn’t– oh my god.”

Hyunwoo blinks slowly and raises a hand to his lips, as if trying to find out, if it really happened. Hoseok can’t take a breath suddenly and he wants to do something, anything, to make it so that it didn’t happen, but all that’s currently in his brain is a constant stream of fuckfuckfuck. Hyunwoo moves and he’s there, in Hoseok’s space, his hands heavy on Hoseok’s shoulders.

“Calm down,” he says, voice low, but he’s not calm himself and Hoseok doesn’t know what that means, because his brain isn’t functioning.

“I can’t!” he mumbles between wheezed breaths, heart thrumming in his ears.

Hyunwoo is so close and Hoseok fucked up everything and he’s going to die either from shame, or panic. He briefly wishes he slipped on the bathroom floor when he still had the chance, because this definitely isn’t any better.

Hyunwoo grabs his face carefully and kisses him and Hoseok kind of shuts down. Hyunwoo pulls away, but only slightly, looking as stunned as Hoseok feels, their breathes mingling in the space between them.

“Did you just,” Hoseok asks and cuts himself off. “What?” he tries again.

“You stopped panicking,” Hyunwoo observes helpfully.

Hoseok wants to smack him, but he also wants him to do what he just did again. He licks his lips and it catches up to him. His ears burn.

“You could have told me,” Hyunwoo says quietly. “I would never laugh at you.”

Hoseok stares at him. Sometimes he really loves his sincerity. Hyunwoo’s face is now soft and he’s doing that thing with his eyebrows he does when he’s waiting for some kind of response. Hoseok doesn’t think any words can get through his throat now, so he leans in, a spike of fear attacking his heart, because Hyunwoo can pull back. Hoseok doesn’t want to think what he will do, if that happens. Hyunwoo stays in place and lets him drag their lips against one another slowly. Hoseok thinks he might pass out from relief and from the way his chest swells with feelings. It’s weird, but the good kind of weird.

Hyunwoo slides his thumb along Hoseok’s jaw and doesn’t try to take control of the kiss. It’s all too slow and amazing, and Hoseok’s dizzy when he finally moves away and opens his eyes he has no idea when he closed. Hyunwoo is smiling. Their chests are pressed together and Hoseok feels the heat radiating from Hyunwoo’s body.

There is a tiny bit of doubt already planting itself in Hoseok’s stomach.

“You’re not,” he clears his throat. “You’re not just going along with this, right?”

Hyunwoo’s smile slips.

“It’s not something I would do, if I didn’t want to,” he says and he’s so serious, Hoseok believes him right away.

He lets himself smile, too, just a little. The door opens.

“Alright, pay up,” Kihyun says.

Hoseok stares in shock as Minhyuk groans and takes out money. Hyungwon huffs and does the same, glaring at Hoseok like it’s his fault.

“Did you bet on this?” Hoseok asks incredulously.

Hyunwoo doesn’t seem to care. Kihyun shrugs with a smirk and silently high fives Changkyun.

“You couldn’t wait one week?” Minhyuk asks Hoseok begrudgingly.

Hoseok can’t believe this.

“I’m leaving the group,” he says.

“You can’t break the contract just like that,” Jooheon says dumbly, clearly as shocked as Hoseok feels.

“And you couldn’t have sex with Hyunwoo-hyung, if you left,” Changkyun adds helpfully.

Hoseok is pretty sure his face is on fire.

“Changkyun!”

The youngest raises his eyebrows.

“What?”

Kihyun is snickering in the back. Jooheon looks like he’s about to faint.

“One more week!” Minhyuk despairs, shaking his head and disappearing in the hallway.

Hyungwon follows him, throwing Hoseok one last glare. Jooheon trudges behind them slowly, as if the soul just left his body. Kihyun ruffles Changkyun’s hair and kisses his cheek, not giving a fuck Hoseok and Hyunwoo can see. Hoseok supposes it is thanks to Changkyun that Kihyun got that money, so it’s understandable. He still can’t really believe what just happened, though. Like, the entire situation is crazily surreal. He looks at Hyunwoo and jerks in surprise when he finds him already looking back. He thinks his face is burning again, but Hyunwoo is smiling at him, eyes just two prettily curved lines, so Hoseok can’t bring himself to care.

He wants to kiss Hyunwoo again.

“So,” he asks instead. “What now?”

And Hyunwoo does this half-shrug, because of course he’s leaving the decision to Hoseok. Hoseok laughs breathlessly and pulls him in by his belt loops.

*** 

Hoseok leaves Hyungwon to himself and his poorly cooked ramen and passes by Jooheon and Minhyuk fighting as they play Mario Kart because Minhyuk is cheating yet again. He doesn’t even want to know where Kihyun and Changkyun are, or worse, what they are doing right now.

They finally have a moment to breathe with the promotion finished. Two days off are like a blessing, because Hoseok almost got a cold already and nearly ruined one of their last stages with his runny nose. It wasn’t fun. Hyunwoo didn’t let himself be kissed at all. Although, Hoseok admits all the extra attention was nice.

Hyungwon had slept for the past twenty one hours, so he’s extremely grumpy now and that means Hoseok doesn’t want to stick around to argue. Also, he hasn’t seen Hyunwoo for some time now. He hears a questionable noise as he goes past the younger ones’ room and speeds up. Swinging the door to their bedroom, he spots Hyunwoo lying in his bed and staring at the screen of his phone in focus.

“What are you doing?” Hoseok asks, glad his voice went back to norm after the cold already.

Hyunwoo jumps and clears his throat, quickly shutting off his phone and sitting up. He scratches his nape and doesn’t look up at Hoseok. Hoseok quirks an eyebrow at him.  
“You’re absolutely not suspicious, not at all,” he drawls.

Hyunwoo smiles at him pleasantly.

“What’s up?”

“Don’t give me that,” Hoseok laughs, sitting next to him so they’re on eye level.

Hyunwoo plays with his fingers absentmindedly. Hoseok takes that chance to grab his phone.

“Wait!” Hyunwoo starts, but Hoseok’s already on the other end of the room.

He opens the device and freezes in shock. He looks up at Hyunwoo slowly.

“Um, that,” he says intelligently and has no idea what to follow that up with.

“Minhyuk sent it to me,” Hyunwoo says quickly. “I had no idea what it was, really!”

Hoseok can’t look at him. His face is hot.

“I read it, too,” he mumbles.

“What?” Hyunwoo asks, taking a few steps his way, because he couldn’t have possibly heard him.

“I read it, too,” Hoseok repeats unsurely.

This is what started everything, he thinks, but Hyunwoo doesn’t need to know that.

“Oh,” is all Hyunwoo says and the whole situation is so awkward.

Hoseok swears he’s going to murder Minhyuk. Hyunwoo clears his throat again.

“How did it end?” he asks quietly.

Hoseok snaps up his head, heart jumping to his throat.

“Are you serious?” he says incredulously.

Hyunwoo’s cheeks are a shade darker now. Hoseok has been trying to figure out how red they can get and it doesn’t go past this color. Hyunwoo must be really embarrassed.  
“Sorry, that was a weird question,” he says, reaching out his hand. “Here, give it back, I’ll turn it off.”

“I don’t know,” Hoseok says. They stare at each other for a long moment. “I’ve never finished it.”

Hyunwoo makes another step. Their chests are almost touching. Hoseok tries to breathe properly. Hyunwoo leans in and takes the phone, throwing it on his bed blindly. Anticipation makes Hoseok’s spine tingle, want pooling slowly in his gut. When Hyunwoo kisses him softly, it’s this weird feeling between knowing that it would happen and being surprised by it.

Hoseok isn’t sure when the kiss gets hot, Hyunwoo’s mouth demanding against his own. He also doesn’t know the moment he closes his eyes, or how it happened that his back is now pressed into the wall. Hyunwoo’s big palms spread against his abs and Hoseok gasps into his mouth. Hyunwoo is smiling into the kiss, sliding his hands up to graze Hoseok’s nipples. Hoseok whines and bucks his hips, which gets him a quiet groan. He chances a glance and Hyunwoo is staring at him with dark, intense eyes. Hoseok’s breath stutters and he’s hard already. Hyunwoo gets rid of Hoseok’s shirt and his lips are now leaving openmouthed kisses on Hoseok’s neck.

“I want to touch you,” he mumbles against Hoseok’s skin and Hoseok thinks he might faint from the sudden heat that attacks him.

It’s the first time Hyunwoo said anything so decisive regarding them. Until now he has always let Hoseok make the first move. It’s exciting and Hoseok feels his blood quicken from how Hyunwoo’s voice is already husky. Hyunwoo looks up, gaze still piercing, but also searching. Waiting. Hoseok doesn’t trust his own voice, so he just nods and that’s all he has to do for Hyunwoo’s hand to slide down and rub him through the fabric of his pants.

“Oh shit,” Hoseok says intelligently and Hyunwoo is suddenly on his knees. “ _Oh shit_.”

He can't turn away from Hyunwoo's gaze, so he ends up staring, as Hyunwoo unzips his pants with the kind of urgency Hoseok isn’t familiar with when it comes to him. Hoseok forgets all about the behavior that isn’t in character when Hyunwoo swallows him down. It feels amazing and Hoseok’s toes curl, as he lets out a groan and hurriedly bites down on his hand. He wouldn’t want Minhyuk or Hyungwon to come in here right now.

Hyunwoo bobs his head and he’s probably never done this before, but it doesn’t matter. Hoseok can’t help moaning lowly and Hyunwoo hums, sending vibrations through his whole body.

“Oh my god,” Hoseok whines.

Hyunwoo’s eyes are almost completely black, pupils blown, and there is some kind of steeliness to them that doesn’t let Hoseok turn away for even a second. It’s strange, as if Hyunwoo is the one in control now, even though he’s on his knees. Even though he’s never wanted to take that control in the first place, leaving Hoseok to set the pace. It makes Hoseok shiver violently.

Hyunwoo sucks on him and it seems that it won’t take long for Hoseok to come, so he pulls on Hyunwoo’s hair urgently. He gets a guttural groan in return.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he mutters, even if his hips stutter in Hyunwoo’s hold to get more friction. “I’m gonna come, if you don’t stop.”

Hyunwoo pulls off to bite the skin on his lower abdomen. Hoseok makes a truly embarrassing noise and clasps a hand over his mouth, ears tingling.

“Bed,” he manages, muffled.

Hyunwoo must understand him, though, because he’s up and pulling Hoseok along, lips back on his neck. Hyunwoo lands on his back, but he sits up right away and Hoseok straddles him in a rush, fingers tangling in short, dark hair maybe with too much force. Hyunwoo doesn’t seem to mind and Hoseok doesn’t care anymore, because honestly, he just wants to pump their dicks together and make them both feel good.

Hyunwoo’s hands are now on his back, warm and firm. Hoseok pulls his head up too harshly and bites on the tanned skin, eliciting a deep, low moan. And then Hyunwoo’s eyes are back on him, powerful gaze making Hoseok’s breath hitch. He grins, reaching down finally to palm Hyunwoo through his pants. Hyunwoo gasps and bites down on Hoseok’s collarbone. It’s almost to the point of being painful and Hoseok wonders briefly, if there is nothing wrong with his head, because it turns him on more than anything. And it’s the first time they’re doing this.

He decides he’s fine with whatever’s not right with his head when Hyunwoo kisses him harshly and gets their cocks together, jerking them off quickly. Hoseok can taste himself in his mouth and he doesn’t give a flying fuck, just kisses back, wrapping his hand around Hyunwoo’s, helping him get them to come. It’s maybe too wild and too soon as for the first time, but it doesn’t matter. Hoseok taps his forehead against Hyunwoo’s when they’re both coming down from their high.

Hyunwoo’s eyes are still dark, but they came back to the usual softness. He’s smiling as he watches Hoseok closely. Hoseok grins back.

“We should read it till the end sometime,” he says breathlessly, gesturing vaguely to Hyunwoo’s phone.

Hyunwoo’s cheeks get darker, as if the prospect of reading porn starring them is more embarrassing than getting each other off using a lot of teeth. Maybe it is, Hoseok wouldn’t know.

“We should find a way to get in the shower before Minhyuk shows up,” Hyunwoo says, ignoring the suggestion completely.

Hoseok isn’t all that bothered by it, though. He’s going to have a lot of chances to convince Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo looks at him like he knows exactly what’s going on in his head and stands up abruptly. Hoseok barely manages not to fall on his ass. He looks at Hyunwoo begrudgingly.

“Manager-hyung is gonna kill us,” Hyunwoo says, seemingly apropos of nothing.

He’s staring, though, and Hoseok looks down to spot dark marks on his bright skin. He’s sure there is more than he can see. Hyunwoo looks too pleased about them for Hoseok to actually care. Jooheon is the one who bumps into them in the hallway and he turns around on his heel.

“I didn’t see anything,” he tells himself, walking away. “I didn’t.”

Hoseok laughs and closes the bathroom door behind himself and Hyunwoo, pressing the other to it the next second. Who knew searching himself online would change his life so much. He contemplates sending the fan that wrote the text some kind of a gift. Hyunwoo licks hungrily into his mouth and Hoseok forgets all about it.

***


End file.
